IRONMAN Santa Rosa: what I learned when things didn’t go according to plan

Santa Rosa, California.  05.11.2019

People often ask why I compete in endurance events. There are a number of reasons including overall health and weight control, but the biggest reason is because I learn something new about myself each and every time. Ironman Santa Rosa was no exception!

I went into this race with expectations of a total time just over 13 hours, but also knowing I'd been struggling with plantar fasciitis in my left foot and was experiencing a lot of heel pain. So while I felt solid about my plan for the swim and bike, I wasn't exactly sure what to expect on the run portion of the race. When all was said and done I finished the race in slightly under 14.5 hours, and I couldn't be more proud of it even though I was almost 90 minutes slower than my goal time.

You see, I did end up having problems with the heel pain. Not just minor pain, but excruciating pain shooting in my left heel with every step of the marathon. 49,536 steps of pain! But it was in—and due to—that pain that I learned something about myself that day.

I learned that my hopes of being able to completely block the pain and keep running the for entire marathon didn’t hold true.

I also learned that as a result of that pain, I broke down. I'm not talking about the physical breakdown and having to mostly walk for 20 miles of the 26.2 mile run—although that did happen. I'm talking about a massive mental meltdown. 6 miles into the marathon I was so disappointed and in pain and overcome with frustration that I turned into a bawling, blubbering mess out there on the course. Am I proud of that? Not particularly. Am I proud of what came next? Absolutely!!

Walking in pain

What came next is when I learned something about myself. I learned that not only did I have the strength to persevere through the physical pain, but I also had the mental strength to overcome the mental meltdown, pull myself back together, and stick it out for another 20 miles to finish what I started!

I even learned that in spite of the excruciating pain with every step and being way off my original goal, it was still possible to reset with a new goal (sub 14:30) and force myself back into the increased pain of a little more running late in the race to ensure I got that done.

This was the first time in all my 22 years of endurance sports that I've ever had to overcome a mental lapse of that magnitude. I learned I am capable of doing so, and of that I am immensely proud!

FINISHING!!!

In short:  

I broke down.  

I persevered.  

I overcame. 

So what are you, the reader, supposed to take away from reading this?  What I hope you're taking is that it's okay to push yourself to the point of breaking—you'll never know what's on the other side unless you do! I can tell you from personal experience that on May 11, 2019 in Santa Rosa, California at 120.4 miles into a 140.6 mile race, I broke. But that wasn't the story of my day. The story of my day is that I learned I am capable of regrouping and finishing the task at hand. I hope my story gives you the extra push to put yourself out there (in anything you do) and learn the same lesson firsthand.